Quentin Fottrell

Wed, Jun 18, 2025, 8:08 AM5 min read

My niece is a highly educated person. She holds a Ph.D. in science, has a good personality and people genuinely like her. She has worked as a freelancer for the same company for over five years. The owner of the company sends her a check every month and a 1099 at the end of the year. I have mentioned to her a few times that she should talk to the owner about simply employing her so her tax load would not be so heavy and she would get employee benefits.

However, the owner has all kinds of excuses and promises to do so, perhaps next year. And here is the problem: My niece, as smart and brilliant as she is, is not very good with her money. She got married a couple of years ago and she and her husband bought a house right away.  She paid some of her husband’s credit-card debt and other expenses. As a result she got behind on her estimated taxes for this year and last year.

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She also carries a high student-debt load. Her husband pays his taxes separately. His student debt is minimal, and he puts money into his 401(k). She does not have any IRA or any savings. I love my niece dearly and, being older, I would like to make her a beneficiary of my savings and investments. I am not a rich person, but I worked my whole life, and I am a good saver. Here is my dilemma: Knowing what I know, it seems foolish to make her my beneficiary.

I want to help her, but I have no idea how. I have tried to talk to her about finances, but she refuses to talk about it. She has some serious health issues, so I am hesitant to press the topic. I am at wit’s end. I have no idea what I can do and how I can help her.

The Aunt

Related: I’m 75 and have a reverse mortgage. Should I pay it off with my $200K savings — and live off Social Security instead?

Here’s the brutal truth: You can’t live your niece’s life for her.

You’re at your wit’s end for that reason. There’s only so much you can do to influence your niece. You can’t go back in time and advise her on what course to choose to limit her student debt or maximize her financial prospects. You can’t undo her decision to pay off her husband’s credit-card debt at the expense of neglecting her own taxes and falling out of favor with the Internal Revenue Service.